“The value of life is revealed when it confronts death from close quarters”
– Apoorve Dubey
When you lose someone you love, you lose a part of you in turn. You find that some things just don’t feel the same and that you learn how to relive your life without them; which is incredibly hard. You also feel regret, happiness, sadness, anger etc all mixed into one which can be one of the most debilitating things there is. For me, I went through one of the most horrible experiences I have ever had, but at the same time it was so enlightening for me. I really did learn a lot. I learnt that you can’t just take loved ones for granted, that you can’t just sit on your ass and let life pass you by. Life doesn’t stop for anyone, it just keeps going. Of course, grief often leads to depression which I’ll make another post about in the future. Something that really enlightened me was how I look back onto memories with my loved one who passed away, I learnt to look deeper into their actions and came out with a feeling of love and happiness.
Another thing I learnt about grief is that it doesn’t have a timeline, it just happens and you cannot control it. I went from crying every night to not crying for weeks then starting to cry every night again. I go through stages where I can talk about them without crying but other times I cant even say a word about them without tearing up. I also learnt that it’s okay to grieve, and that I will be okay. People don’t disappear when they die, how could they? When you have memories, photos, souvenirs and even just talking about them.That’s why I don’t think love ever dies, it just continues in different ways. Sometimes you just want to hug the person you lost, to feel that everything is okay; and you have to learn how to deal with things like that.
Life is so fragile, someone can be here one day and gone the next and that is scary. The only reassuring thing is that they will always be in your heart. For as long as you live. It’s okay to cry and it’s okay to miss these people. At the end of the day, sometimes it takes a death to realize what and how you should be living your life. I learnt to treasure every moment I have with everyone I meet. I always analyze people, I always have. I always like to figure out myself why people do the things they do, but I learnt to take a much deeper look into people.
Loss can be anything, from relationship breakups, death and friends falling apart and most times, you will have similar grief through the experience. Take these things as a lesson, it helps you overcome any regrets and and sadness. The quotes and strategies down below might help with this one as well.
Going through therapy, other blogs and quotes I’ve compiled a list of things that still continue to help me through the process.
- “No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”
- “Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream.”
- “If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them.”
- “It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, and a day to love them, but it takes an entire lifetime to forget them.”
- Write your loved one a letter
- Make a scrap book
- Write poems
- Record your memories down on paper
- Write about what happened when you lost them, this helps so much!
- Listen to a mix of happy and sad songs
- Get professional help
Thank you for reading! Be sure to check out future posts about depression and more.
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