“Pulling someone down will never help you reach the top”
Many people experience bullying in their lifetime, it’s something you can’t seem to escape from. Does this mean people are brought up to bully? Or is it really something that just happens over night? Most people bully others if they’ve been bullied, but people also bully out of jealousy, anger, hatred, poor self esteem etc etc. This doesn’t make it okay. This is essentially a new series I’m starting called “My Thoughts On” where I do just that, discuss my thoughts on things. I thought I would kick off with this topic to begin with because it’s such a rampant thing in society, almost on epidemic levels.
So, what is bullying?
Bullying is defined as any unwanted, aggressive and uncalled for behavior which is repeated over and over. If someone thinks they have more power of you, chances are they will take advantage of this. As a result of this, victims can feel the effects long after the bullying has stopped.
Bullying can be done in a variety of ways, such as:
- Name calling
- Inappropriate comments
- Threats of harm or death
- Being left out on purpose
- Rumours and gossip
- Telling others not to be friends with you
- Purposely embarrassing or humiliating
- Taking someones things
- Hitting/kicking/punching etc
- Damaging people’s social reputation
- Intimidation/putting people down
- Ganging up mentality
The list goes on. If people bully out of jealousy, shouldn’t we look at why they can’t control their own feelings and emotions? I was bullied out of somewhat jealousy and from time to time I do think back to it (because it was quite damaging) and wonder why they had such a lack of control over themselves and thought they could try and ruin me. Did they get bullied at one time? But if they did get bullied, surely they knew how it felt being on the receiving end of it. Most people know between right and wrong, and taking into account that bullies were once bullied themselves, wouldn’t they know that what they are doing is wrong? Which leads to the thought that they too could be damaged from previous bullying. At the same time though, I don’t really have much sympathy for bullies and for the rest of my life I don’t think I would ever accept an apology from a bully.
Bullying is so rampant in a day and age that has bullying policies (but how often do they get followed?) and education surrounding it, why does it still happen? This is why people should always be nice to others. You don’t know what someone is going through, you don’t know what their life is like; you always don’t know how they deal with things. How I deal with things is different to how my boyfriend deals with things and so on. For me, since I got bullied horribly, I learnt to not take people’s shit. When people make negative comments to me or judgements, I don’t actually get as offended as it looks on the outside. I like to keep silent just so the persons words echo in their own head for a while so they can understand that what they do is not okay.
I think schools and workplaces really need to work on following their bullying policies. I also think that instead of just helping the victims, we should also be targeting it from the first base, so helping the person who bullies so that they can stop and see what their behavior does. There’s plenty of websites to help parents, teachers and more with how to deal with bullies and help the victims.
Before I wrap this up I will also cover how to spot if someone you love is being bullied:
- Doesn’t spend time with friends or has very few
- Increased anxiety
- Low self esteem
- Trouble sleeping and/or bad dreams
- Withdrawing from events, family time, school etc
- Complains of headaches, stomach cramps etc
- Making excuses to not go anywhere or do anything
- Seems extra sensitive
- Appear to be more angry, teary, upset or depressed
- lost interest in things they used to love
We all have human rights, and bullying goes against those rights. Click here to check out bullying and the law.
I was bullied, horribly. For the last year and a bit of my high schooling life I was bullied. Not one person did anything, no one. Why not? Is it because people don’t want to be caught up in it, they’re just as scared? I often equate this to being as bad as a bully. To see it happen and turn a blind eye to it. I find it absolutely disgusting and I plan on raising my future children to never turn a blind eye to it. If they or I can stop someone from going through what i went through that would be a wonderful feeling. The school did nothing, they simply told me to ignore what was happening. This made me think that schools need to learn their own bullying policies. When I finished high school I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I couldn’t go out out of fear I would see them, I couldn’t go a day without thinking about it. It was bad. I learned to forgive people who weren’t sorry. I also learned that women who gang up on women are bad people. I can go weeks without thinking about what happened, but from time to time I still get mad and frustrated. It’s something that’s going to be with me for a long time. I don’t want other people to suffer like that. Bullying is the lowest of the low and really shows peoples true colours. If you’ve ever been in that situation I’d recommend that you do what I did. I deleted and blocked them on every social platform so I don’t have to see them. It helps a lot when recovering. My therapist always told me that it might be worth messaging them to let them know what they did, but I don’t think that’s worth it. Nothing would get resolved and it would simply bring up more attacks (in my opinion). Don’t ever let a bully make you feel bad about yourself just because they feel bad about themselves. Karma will always come around….always.
I hope you liked what you read, any feedback would be great. Stay tuned for more opinion pieces! Image used for feature image was taken from google images.
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