“To be of good quality, you have to excuse yourself from the presence of shallow and callow minded individuals”
– Michael Bassey Johnson
At some point in your life you have to deal with negative people, whether it be friends, colleagues, acquaintances or family. What’s important is how you deal with them on the outside and on the inside, because you simply can’t live your life constantly tormented by these people.
Do you know if someone in your life really is negative or just having a bad day? Down below are the signs of someone who is negative, day in and day out:
- They tend to worry…more than anyone else
- They try to control every situation or person in their path
- They constantly look out for danger and bad news
- Most of what they do is in secrecy
- They prefer to look at the negatives in situations
- They feel the need to share bad news….constantly
- They can give out criticism..but can’t handle any criticism their way
- They tend to complain and whine more than the average person
- They never leap out of their comfort zones
- They are usually underachievers
- They miss out on good things in life, on purpose
- They suck out any positive energy from others
- They make people around them tense or negative
- They find a negative spin on good news
Now, in saying that, some people who are bored or don’t do anything can be like this too; which is why everyone should have a hobby and do something physical at least once a day. To deal with these negative people can be quite taxing on your inner peace and health, but don’t let that deter you from making them know about their behavior and its effects on others. Some tips can include:
- Talking to them about their behavior – get them to see what they are doing
- Know when to leave and have time to yourself
- Set boundaries for them and yourself
- Choose your battles, do you side with innocent people or the negative person?
- Don’t bother rethinking about the situation
- Don’t let their negative thoughts overtake your own thoughts
- Know that you don’t have to be around negative people
- Smile through their negativity
- Don’t show any reactions to them
- Ask them if anything positive or good happened in their day
- Ask yourself if you are enabling this persons negativity
- Keep focus on your own positive energy
Always remember….it’s never your fault that someone else is negative. (Unless you enable them and let them get away with it) Always Always Always keep your positive glow about you as much as you can, we all have down and off days but still give your self the chance to be positive. Life is too big and too short to let negative people take control of you, there are many blogs and stories on the internet and in book form on how to handle these situations.
As I mentioned before, people who don’t busy themselves or do much often focus on negative things. Why? Because it gives them something to do, however it’s not constructive and in the end only hurt themselves and no one else. This leads to being negative all the time, which can be a hard habit to kick. Click here to read about how depression can get you into the habit of thinking negative. As I’ve had clinical depression I can tell you that when you get into the habit of negative uncontrollable thoughts, it really becomes difficult to change yourself to think positive instead; but it is manageable and requires a lot of effort.
What to do when a friend is negative?
- Ask them if there is anything going on
- Change topic in conversation
- Talk to them about the situation
- Know that you can leave an unhealthy friendship
- Pay attention to anything that may trigger the negativity
- Offer them help and support if need be
What to do when a colleague is negative?
- Avoid them in your working day
- Make a note to your boss/supervisor
- Even explain to them the situation
- If possible, don’t react to their behavior
- Change jobs if it’s too much to handle
What to do when a family member is negative?
- Take more control over any conversations, not allowing it to be negative
- Make a light hearted joke about what they are complaining about (this sometimes works)
- Tell them that what they does bothers you and talk about solutions
- Spend time with yourself away from them
- Create barriers and set them out clearly
- Group/family counselling sessions
I hope this was helpful in your quest on dealing with negative people. All in all if nothing can be done just walk away. Stay tuned for more posts! (feature image from google stock images)
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