Relationships are rather interesting, they all start with the same chemical reactions inside your head and if you’re lucky, they last a lifetime. I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years this year and thought I’d make a post about the things I know and the things I’ve learnt; because trust me you leant a lot! This is my first real relationship so I had a lot of learning to do.
At the start of a relationship, you don’t want to be apart from the other person; you spend all your time talking to them and seeing them. At this point, most people lose themselves for a short time, because they become one with someone else. Everything they do creates an explosion of butterflies and you have literally no arguments. Probably because you’re scared they might leave you, or for other reasons. This phase usually lasts anywhere from 4 months to a year, it all depends on how you started, your age and length of time you knew each other first.
The transition into the next phase is what I find really interesting. When all of the lusting, if you will, is over; you begin to realise whether or not you actually love the person, if you can handle their bad habits and be willing to have disagreements. The person still make you happy, really happy, but sometimes it doesn’t feel as exciting as it did in the start, and that’s okay! The really good part about this part? You learn to become yourself again, you learn to have a life outside of your boyfriend; this means feeling comfortable in doing your own thing, having time to yourself, and even doing your one thing in peace with your partner. For my boyfriend and I, he usually listens to music and plays his PS4 while I listening to my music and play computer games, we’re doing our own thing and we don’t even have to talk to each other constantly. This is a far cry from the first phase!
Things I’ve learnt
Things I’ve learnt is that a healthy relationship consists of being able to disagree with your boyfriend, that you don’t have to do what they want to do and vice versa, that you tell each other often how much you appreciate them and how much you love them, that you make them feel as special as they make you feel, that it’s okay to live your life how you want and grow into your own person as well as together, and letting each other have time to ourselves. The biggest thing I’ve learnt? Don’t take the first phase seriously, as in don’t look at it as the be all end all of the relationship, it’s a good key though to set the mood of the entire relationship.
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship since we were 16/17, so we’ve grown up a lot together. We’ve become more mature (I’d like to think so!) and more capable of looking at different sides of an argument. The most important part of growing together is growing into yourself, you can’t grow with someone otherwise. The fun thing is that we’re constantly growing which means we learn new things and experience new things.
Seeing a future
During phase 1 you see yourself spending your life with the person (something you don’t realise is because of the whole lusting thing) so when you enter phase 2 you usually figure out if you actually want to spend your life with the other person. You figure out if you can live with the other person being who they are, with their habits and all the good and bad things.
Being happy together
Most relationships don’t work out, or really just lack from positive things for the entire relationship. The best thing to think of is, for every negative in a relationship, do 5 or more positive things. That way you aren’t focusing on the negatives and you actually make each other and yourself happy. If you aren’t capable of doing a small thing like that, then you’re better off not in a relationship.
To wrap it up….
Relationships are fun, they’re based on growing together, doing more positive than negative things, being your own person is important and most of all, the lust phase never lasts, so don’t expect it to and be disappointed. Don’t lose who you are and be prepared for any changes that may happen!
— Thanks for stopping by —
(Photo courtesy from google images)