Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Words, we use them everyday and whether or not we like it, they define us. What we say can hold a detrimental impact on other people. Take bully’s for example: if the person they bully commits suicide they have to live with the fact that they assisted in the death of a human being.
Are words stronger than our behaviour? Or is it just as equal in power? Sometimes our words and behaviour are nothing alike. Most of the time, they sing the same tune as each other. What we say and what we do are conscious decisions and the excuses of “..I didn’t know what I was doing..” or “…I didn’t realise..” are a load of crap. Everyone is aware of how they conduct themselves and how they live their lives. If you call into question how others conduct themselves they play a victim card, like it’s not their responsibility. That is so far from the truth.
Why is it that if people behave and treat others badly, that it’s okay until someone does it to them? Is it the superiority complex in people or is it an ego thing? Being an adult means taking responsibility for your own conduct and admitting fault where there is fault.
You read quotes and they often have a profound affect on you. You overhear people talking about you negatively and that has a profound affect on you. You read a whole book and that has a profound affect on you. The power of words is far more intricate than you think. Why do a string of words either lift you up or crush you? Bad experiences with words and seeing their meanings come to light can often hurt. Why is it that those words stick with you, almost like they get sketched into your skin.
I’ve noticed that if I hear how people talk about topics and say what I deem as negative, those words will etch into those people’s skin and I’ll always see it on them no matter what they do. I feel words and interactions deeply and I never forget what people say, or what people do for that matter. I can tell you something awful you said 5 years ago word for word (it sucks, I can’t help it) and I think right there defines the power of words. That if you remember things said to you, it’s for a reason.
I had a teacher in primary school that treated me differently to the other students in the class, I had her as a teacher for 2 years. Unknown to me why she was like that, I still remember a lot of the things she said to me. One that sticks in my mind was being told that I’d never be good enough. Picture a 7 year old trying to find their learning style hear that. You don’t forget that, that buries itself into you and springs back into mind when something goes wrong in your life. They even questioned my parents if I was disabled or had a learning disability. You never forget bad teachers that put you off learning. Never.
Words do hurt whether you like to admit that or not, but behaviour plays a huge role in this too. They say about 70% of your communication is through body language and that also emphasizes what you try to say. If you’re an aggressive communicator, your body language is going to do the same. I believe that sort of communication comes from the need to be superior or the need of an ego boost.
Google’s definition of a superiority complex is “an attitude of superiority which conceals actual feelings of inferiority and failure.” and that to me, explains the motive behind saying outlandish, rude and often crude things. To hide that their life is lacking in areas and that it’s easier to rat on someone else than to face your own fears and problems. In this case I believe that people don’t actually mean what they are saying, rather that they just want the shock factor out of their words and to see how it affects others. It’s nothing more than attention seeking at its best.
Using the above, you etch those people’s words into their own skin and that’s all you’ll ever think of when you see them or hear their name. A bad reputation, if you will. If you know you have the power to alter someones day or life by what you say, why would you pick to be negative towards them? No sane human being would go out of their way to hurt or destroy someone.
I think it;s important to look at the positive power of words, too. If you read an influential quote you’re going to remember it and light up at any thought of it. It’s going to change your life for even a split second. If you find motivation in quotes to change or be a better you, then that right there is the positive power of words. It works too when you hear someone say something kind to you, or you even say something kind to someone else. It will make your day to make someone else’s day better.
Everyday my boyfriend tells me how proud he is of me for working hard for what I want in life, and that has a profound affect on me. It makes me realise that I’m doing something for me and it also shows me that he has a high opinion of me. For me that’s a positive affect of words being it’s pushing me to keep going and to not give up. That’s why you need to find friends that are supportive of you and you of them. You have a positive impact on them and they have a positive impact on you. However, if you feel dread or off around people then chances are, they’re not right for you.
You know the saying that if you’ve found the right friends that you don’t have to be careful of what you say or watch what you say? That’s true to a degree. If you can be yourself and talk about your topics or what you’re doing in life then it’s perfect. However, if you use that as an excuse to say mean things to someone and turn around and say “…Oh I thought I didn’t have to watch what I say around you, I was wrong…” that is an exception to that saying. We should be trying to build each other up, we shouldn’t have to draw the line and tell people when their behaviour or words are too much. People should just know and take responsibility for that.
To build each other up, we need to know a few things. There’s a difference between criticism and constructive criticism. Criticism is what breaks people, and constructive criticism is what helps people to grow. Your wording is everything in doing this. If someone is constantly leaving a mess, instead of saying “You’re so messy, what’s wrong with you?” and in affect, making that person question your opinions and why you’re being rude. Something better would be to offer a solution: “I noticed you left a mess, next time when you’re in the middle of doing what it is that caused the mess, take a second out of that and clean up a bit so it’s easier at the end”. Some people are going to look at this and think that it cements the whole ‘snowflake millennials’ things but honestly, why be mean when you don’t need to be? It’s a harsh world out there and we mix with different types of people, but wouldn’t it be better if we were just that tad bit nicer with what we said?
That works in an ideal society but that’s just not going to work in this society for many reasons. Own up and take responsibility for what you do before it makes you look bad, or even kill someone. The power of words is strong.
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