Being an adult is all about taking responsibility for yourself and not being a shitty person. Through all my traumatic events in life the biggest one I've dealt with is the need to take responsibility for myself and making sure others take responsibility for themselves. You learn quite a lot about yourself when you start taking responsibility for yourself.
A lot of people find it easier to have a go and rip into people who have nothing to do with their own situation, just because it's easier to throw accusations and your anger out on others than dealing with your own problems. This says a lot about a person, how they deal with their problems and anger. If you're finding yourself doing the above, it means you lack emotional intelligence and you'd be surprised how many people lack it. It can be hard to change your attitude and look at your emotions differently but once you get the hang of it, you'll notice drastic changes in yourself and how you deal with things.
Take time to reflect on every time you've blamed someone else for something going wrong in your life, why did you blame them? Did they walk into that chapter of your life and it felt fitting? It's important to acknowledge our downfalls in life and deal with them accordingly.
I've also learnt a huge part of taking responsibility of your life is not holding grudges. It's kind of like drinking poison and hoping the other person is affected by the side effects. It does nothing but create a toxic environment for yourself and you're pretty much just digging yourself a huge hole. Forgiving someone brings you a level of peace you need to function with in life, you don't need to do it for them, but for yourself.
Knowing when enough is enough and drawing a line for your inner peace is super important in taking responsibility for your own life. You do things for you. You're allowed to be selfish in the regard, you need to do what you can to maintain happiness and peace in yourself. Living life being anything but happy is so hard and complicated, and as someone currently seeing a psychologist, I know how important it is to realise my own emotions and the affects of everything going on in my life. This leads me to my next point…
Taking control and seeing a psychologist when you need to is super important also. Sometimes, we don't know the actual affects of something that's happened to us unless we talk about it. Speaking to someone outside of your family and normal life is create for this. Finding a great psychologist that suits you is an important step in the right direction. Taking control of those feelings and situations and learning how to take the edge off of them can really add a lot of positivity to your life. It adds a layer to your life you didn't even know you had.
Self reflection is the key to success is taking responsibility for yourself. I like to use the Gibbs Reflective Cycle which you can read about here. That way, you can empty out the entire situation or emotion completely and figure out if there's anything you can or could have done and then deal with that. If you can reflect and challenge yourself regularly, you'll improve and get yourself into a healthy habit for life.
Having constant short term and long term goals can keep you focused and on the right path for success. You'll find the happiest people are those that create and achieve their goals on a regular basis. Creating goals can be exhausting trying to figure out what it is you want to achieve but that's all part of the feeling of success, realising what it is exactly that you want to do with your life. Those who do nothing with their lives that just live Day to day are usually the most unsatisfied with life. Take control!
Apologise for the important things, no matter how big or little it is, take control of how you treat people. Let them know when you've done wrong by them, and if they've done wrong by you they may just apologise back. Even if they don't, don't worry about that. Knowing you're the bigger person to apologise is super important. Super important seems to be my favourite phrase for this post.
As I return into my nursing studies for semester 2 in a months time, I've scheduled multiple posts (including this one) to be published so expect quite a few posts coming up! But the time this post is published, I will be studying.