It’s hard, let’s not kid ourselves. How do you get over something that’s affected you and just let it go? It’s very personal and so variable from person to person but it can be done.
Not everything has gone the way I wanted it for the last 8 Years: conflicts, bullying, death, divorce, friendships; I’m sure you get the picture. This year I’ve made it my only goal: put the past behind me as much as I can and remain positive. How will I go about this though? I’ve tried in the past to do it but it’s been hard but I did notice one thing, the more I told myself to ‘stop’ when i began thinking of something that upset me the less it appears back into my mind.
I’ll admit, it’s been tiring trying to be positive all the time, that’s where I’ve gone wrong already. I can’t be positive all the time and that’s okay. Putting things in the past requires a lot of active thought processes and changes; which are equally tiring.
So what do I do when I think about the past events that have hurt me:
- Tell myself out loud to ‘stop’
- Remind myself that they are nothing but thoughts now
- Keep myself busy
- Try a new hobby
There is some variables here: you can’t just put a death behind you, if you’ve ever lost someone close to your heart (or actually watch them take their last breath) you know just how difficult it is. So it’s all about reminding yourself that some things you just can’t and won’t get over, and that’s okay.
You get to a point where it’s extra tiring having to appeal to other people’s opinions and dealing with their problems and the problems they’ve caused you; part of putting those things behind you is understanding any role you’ve played in it (if any) and growing from it.
How I try and maintain positivity in my life:
- Practice gratitude
- Let the people I love know how much I appreciate them
- Have a tonne of quotes on hand at any given time
- Remain organised and busy
- Put myself first
- If it won’t effect me in the long run, don’t bother with it now mantra
- Have a hobby that requires you to leave your house
You can’t control everything, you can’t change anything that’s happened and you can’t keep dwelling on those things. I’ve spent too much of my life ruminating on these things and the times come to take control of my life, and this is how I’m going about it.
If I can’t change it: let it go
If it won’t affect me in 5 years time: let it go
If something’s bothering me: be honest and fix the situation
If I feel overwhelmed: take time out for myself
Forgive but don’t forget the lesson it taught you.
This is a promise to myself for 2018, and because it’s written here I can’t back out and fail at it.
Here’s to a good 2018 full of exciting challenges, friendships, work and study!
I also started a photography business this year and it’s been really empowering to be honest.